Friday, September 29, 2006

Llama





The Llama is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey, but it is provided with fins for swimming.
Llamas are larger than frogs.
Llamas are dangerous, so if you see one where people are swimming, you shout,
'Look out, there are Llamas!'

San Nakji for President!

Grand Canyon

A good friend of mine has graciously let me use her photos of the Grand Canyon. She is obviously enjoying a better lifestyle than I am at the moment and I hate her for her fortune.... Of course in the most loving of hate.

Thanks C!



So you are asking yourself, where do I go if I feel the call of nature while visiting this big hole in the ground? Well, ask no longer. Here is the answer!



San Nakji for President!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Reissue



A reissue of an old photo. Just 'souped' it up a bit for the kids.

San Nakji for President!

Eggsactly



What's my point exactly?

San Nakji for President!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Love Story

A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own f $%^#@& blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.

San Nakji for President!

And so with salt goes life



Trying a new setting on my camera. Highspeed for action shots. Here is salt in action! Go that salt!

San Nakji for President!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Various Thoughts On Life The Universe and Nothing

So rapid fire SN thought coming at you!

Yeah!

I hear that Osama Bin Laden is dead. Typhoid? Something like that anyway. Good riddance I reckon. Still, do you think old Dubya Bush is going to claim he ordered the CIA to manufacture a special virus and it was all thanks to him? Hmmmm...

The sun is shining outside but no one is venturing out. Why? Because it is the annual hole in the Ozone layer festival. Yup, thanks to our industrial friends (with friends like these who needs enemies?) in the Northern Hemisphere, about this time every year the sun becomes just too damn dangerous. Yay...

I have just been listening to one of my favourite podcasts (Tokyo Calling) and Scott was talking about Cold Stone Ice Cream. Now one thing you can't fault America on is the production of food that is good enough to give you a coronary. This seems to be no exception. Now I am looking forward as much as the next man to a nice heart attack at a young age, so I am dying (excuse the pun) to try this amazing sounding ice cream! I am not planning to go to the States any time soon. (see below) so I thought I would be out of luck. However I have just found out that there is now one in Korea. Where am I going next month? Korea! Ice Cream heaven awaits!

One of the reasons I hate going to the US is LA airport. It is by far the worst airport I have ever been to. Since first going to the US over 20 years ago, the airport hasn't changed a bit. Oh how I hate it so! Harare airport in Zimbabwe may only have 2 gates and look like a Victorian train station, but it kicks the hell out of LAX!

Has anyone seen the new iPod shuffle? I am so in love! Even though Apple treats NZ so bad, I still love their product. A glutton for punishment...

You left before the lights came on,
Because you didn't want to ruin,
All the lust that was brewing,
Before he absolutely had to,
And how can you wake up,
With someone you don't love?
And not feel slightly fazed by it,
Oh, he had a struggle

San Nakji for President!

Beach Couple

I took this photo the other day at a local beach. A couple is enjoying the spring weather and the view of our local dormant volcano...



Here it is as it would be if I had the time to do the whole scene in colour pencil... Just in case you were wondering!



San Nakji for President!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

In Love With Blossom

No, I am not in love with the 1990's TV character of the same name. Although, I was... Nope, I am in love with my peach tree and the beautiful blossoms it keeps on giving me. I have hope for a bountiful crop this year!



San Nakji for President!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Llamas



Llamas always stare
I wonder why they dare
Llamas are brown and white
They really are a sight
Llamas live up high
Llamas definitely can't fly
Llamas here and llamas there
Llamas staring everywhere

San Nakji for President!

Gorse Flower



Gorse was introduced into Aotearoa because Europeans thought it looked pretty. 150 years later we are paying for yet another mistake made by our ancestors. Gorse is everywhere and is really hard to get rid of. Still, the flowers are pretty....

San Nakji for President!

Monday, September 18, 2006

The Tower - A sketch



Instead of a photo, how about a sketch? This is of my old university. Strangely, this building is called 'The Clock Tower'. Weird huh?

San Nakji for President!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Stingrays beware!

More evidence that Australia is a special country... and not in a good way!

From BBC News

Dead stingrays with their tails cut off have been found in Australia, sparking concern that fans of naturalist Steve Irwin may be avenging his death.

Mr Irwin, a TV personality known as the "Crocodile Hunter", was killed while diving in Queensland when a stingray's barb stabbed him in the chest.

Since then, 10 stingrays have been found mutilated on Queensland beaches.

Government officials said they were investigating the deaths and there could be prosecutions.

Two stingrays were found at a beach north of Brisbane with their tails cut off, while eight were found on another beach on Monday.

San Nakji for President!

Flowery Week

It's been a flowery week for SN. Let's finish it off with some more shall we?






Nothing to be said really.

San Nakji for President!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Every So Often

I have to shake it up a little in my blog, the World of San Nakji, by not posting a photo, but instead giving you the chance to share in the glory that is me. Today, faithful readers, is such a day.

Spring is a funny time here in Aotearoa, the last country in the world. Much like all the other seasons it tends to rain a bit and then have a bit of sunshine too. You wouldn't really notice it were any different from Winter actually except that it has suddenly become a lot warmer and a lot lighter in the morning which always makes SN happy as I am such an early riser. Right now it is grey and rainy outside, but in here it is the same as always. Air conditioning will do that I guess.

Weather like this makes me think about things. Earth shattering profound things. I had a lot of interesting thoughts recently which I wanted to share, but I forgot them. I meant to write them down in my journal, but I forgot to... Do you find that you come up with the greatest ideas in a place where you can't possibly write them down? When sleeping, when dealing with some business in the smallest room, when running to catch the bus? How annoying. I am sure at least two of the ideas I had last week would have solved world hunger.

So, third paragraph and nothing has happened yet. Maybe I should tell you a story? It goes like this.

Back in the days of the fall of the Berlin Wall I was in Stuttgart in West Germany. Friends of mine told me I should get to Berlin so I could watch the wall being pulled down. Be part of history so to speak. Well, SN is not known for missing out on history so I packed my bags and jumped on the train for West Berlin. I walked down the aisle of the train looking for a spare seat, but could find nothing. I walked through perhaps four carriages before I came into a carriage that looked a little bit different from the rest. I couldn't put my finger on what exactly was wrong with the carriage. There was something in the air. It was perhaps a little more grim than the other carriages. The people in the carriage looked a bit grim too. The only thing that really mattered to me at the time however was that there were plenty of seats in this car. I threw my bag onto the luggage rack and sat down across from a grim young lady who despite being grim managed to smile at me.

The train was an overnighter so I made myself as comfortable as I could and tried to get a bit of sleep. Some time later I was awoken as the carriage was lurching backwards and forwards and there was all kinds of banging and crashing going on. I looked at the grim young lady and she looked at me. Her face gave away nothing. I sat there looking out of the window into the dark, but the dark was no help. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew that as long as I sat on this train I was going to get to Berlin eventually. The banging and crashing soon stopped and we were on our way again. About 20 minutes later, I still hadn't managed to get back to sleep again, we stopped. 'Damn!' I thought. 'At this rate I will miss the Wall completely and will only get to Berlin in time for the first McDonalds opening. (This normally follows the collapse of an authoritarian government) Suddenly, the door to the carriage opened and in walked to armed soldier type people. They were armed with distinctly Russian type guns. The type you see in old James Bond films. I wondered what West German guards would be doing with such guns...

They were checking everybody's passport and the grim young lady showed them her grim looking Czechoslovakian passport. They then turned to me.

'Here you go lovely West German guards. Please go on your way protecting our freedom to munch on burgers and wear Levis!' I said politely.

'Funny Language that I have never heard' they replied and pointed at my passport angrily.

'Yes, I know you don't meet many people from Aotearoa so this passport may seem strange to you. I do promise you that my people are good friends with the German people and that I do not require a visa to visit your lovely country' I said even more politely and without even a touch of angst in my voice.

The grim young lady leaned towards me and spoke.

'We are not in Germany anymore. We are now in Czechoslovakia.' I haven't written this with an accent, but just imagine that she spoke with one.

'Gulp!' I thought. (Do you think gulp or does it just happen? I do wonder...). 'I am in some serious Iron Curtain trouble here!'

And I was...

It turned out that the reason the grim carriage had been empty is that it was one of two that was being separated from the Berlin train. They were removed in Nuremburg and put instead onto the back of a train heading for Prague. We were now in Czechoslovakia in a town called Cheb.

The soldiers marched me out of the train. The grim young lady gave me a pathetic smile seeming to say 'Well, good luck with the firing squad'.

Firing squad my arse. I would make those Communists pay! As a Socialist, I cannot abide by my brothers who have taken things just that one step too far. They wouldn't shoot me alive!

The soldiers marched me, not to a prison, but to the train station waiting room. Well, when I say not a prison, it may as well have been. All they had were Cracked magazines from 1978 and a copy of Stalin's holiday snaps album. I sat there, not trembling in fear, but defiant in Socialist anger. When they came back I would be ready for them. I would not let them drag me away without inflicting maximum casualties. I had seen Die Hard, I knew what it took. Think of me as a way better looking and much better haired Bruce Willis. And much harder and tougher. I knew the guards were intimidated by me and if it weren't for their guns I am sure they would have cowered for mercy.

I sat in the waiting room for hours. One thing about Communists is that they know how to wait. One thing about me is that I have no idea. Still, I knew it was part of their psychological torture game and I was prepared to play it. I occupied myself by looking out of the window of the train station and counting the number of barrels of leaking chemical waste lying in the courtyard.

Finally after what seemed like days, but was possible two hours, the soldiers came back. In fluent German they announced my verdict. In halting German I listened.

'You will get on the next train to Germany, ok Mr SN sir your highness sir?' I am pretty sure that's what he said. He was obviously worried with how I might react.

'No worries Mr Guard, you are just doing your job. I will grab that train with gusto'

And that's just what I did. The train came. I got on it. It left Czechoslovakia. I am sorry to tell the residents of that country that I have never been back. Despite all the fan mail I feel that it's just too soon...

True story!

San Nakji for President!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Cat in Tree



I call this masterpiece Cat In Tree. Can you guess why?

San Nakji for President!

Friday, September 08, 2006

More Spring - Yes, More I said!

More evidence of the emergence of Aotearoa from the opression of Winter. My peach tree and my apricot tree are full of blossoms. Fruit is coming!

Here is the peach tree...



And here is the apricot (the one that gives me one apricot a year, yahoo!)...



San Nakji for President!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Junk Email

This appeared in my inbox just now...

All hat and no cowboy. 'Well done' is better than 'Well said' No man is content with his lot. It's a cracked pitcher that goes longest to the well. Penny wise, pound foolish.
Possible Interpretation: Prepare for things to go wrong rather than worrying about them after the fact. A jack of all trades is master of none. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Without sleep, no health. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. (attributed to Ania Ras, Poland) People who live in glass houses shouldn't play golf. Chance favors the prepared mind.
While the cat is away, the mice will play. Money talks. Faint heart ne'er won fair lady. You must never confuse your feelings with your duties. Possible Interpretation: What you do now reflects upon what will happen later. It's better to give than to receive.
Friedrich Nietzsche, The Twilight of the Idols (1888) Golf is a good walk spoilt. Mark Twain It was probably a waste of time anyway. A beer a day keeps the germs away.
The key to all action lies in belief. Noblesse oblige. The key to all action lies in belief. Man with four balls can't walk. Penny wise, pound foolish

Now I ask you. What the hell is this about? There is no link to sell anything. It seems thoroughly pointless. Junk mail sucks.

The End

San Nakji for President!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

All is right with the world



As requested by my good friend Cergie I have righted my cellphone picture so that New Zealand will not turn into a desert and Europe an ocean. Orders received Ma'am!

San Nakji for President!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Lighter Side of Steve



One of my favourite shows as a kid... How dare they be blamed for anyone's death!!!

(If you don't know then you are too young! (Kira's Slave!) Click here for more info)

San Nakji for President!

Tuesday Morning Sunrise



It was a beautiful sunrise this morning. I am not sure that the photo taken on my camera from a moving bus quite does justice, but you get the idea...

San Nakji for President!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Crocodile Hunter No More



Shocking news today. Steve Irwin, AKA the Crocodile Hunter, was killed swimming off the coast of northern Queensland Australia. Now, he annoyed me on his show, but I always appreciated the effort he put into conserving nature and making sure all our children would be able to see and experience the animals and environments that we do. Steve was stabbed in the chest by a stingray of the coast of Port Douglas. He was 44.

R I P Steve!

San Nakji for President!

Spring - More Evidence

A quick trip to the countryside in the weekend has convinced me that it is now spring. There were lambs everywhere! Nothing gives away a season more than a springing lamb!



I have to admit they are cute, although I am sure that isn't what their mother is saying right now!



Still, part of me can't stop thinking how much better this one would look sitting on my dinner plate smothered in gravy....



San Nakji for President!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Spring has Sprung!



The first day of September here in Aotearoa marks the first day of Spring. Our little city at the bottom of the world decided to turn on a great day to celebrate. I took the Pooch out for the first time in ages and as you can see he was very happy with the state of things. Should SN win the lottery, I am definitely going to score myself one of the houses here. This is by far my favouritist beach in the country.



Here the Pooch checks out some sand castles built by some kids. He is considering whether to lift his leg on the castles or not. I told him not to waste his time. I don't know why some people bother, especially kids. If you are not going to do a good job, then just leave it to the experts...

Happy Winter to my Northern Hemisphere friends. Summer awaits us down here!

San Nakji for President!