Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Golden Fish in the Apple

Along time ago there was a golden fish his nine was free. Fred didn't like being a fish he wanted to be human and live in a house on the land. When you try to Will on the beach he found he could not breeze as I had to rush back to the water quickly. He wished with all his might that he could become a human and leave the terrible seat. Poseidon ahead his Priehs and kind to him. Facebook Fred I grungy you wish to become a human go to the beach and breeze for! Fred thanks Poseidon and walk to the beach with his new legs. They're waiting for him was a dog the dog's time was Gunther. The dog took one look at the delicious looking human and I. The golden fish was going to Gunther was satisfied. Tomorrow the story is never to wish your human was delicious looking.

The end

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Auckland,New Zealand

Saturday, June 16, 2012

The King and the Bush

Once upon a time there was a canine Jeremy he wasn't wise and good king but very ugly. He wanted to want to watch a older women in the Kingdom were very scared all of his ugly face. Finally Jeremy just wanted to marry a tree's trees did not care how he looked. He found a lovely Rhododendron bush and they were happily married. After three years of trying Bayhead hello my lovely children and 16 roses. The people of the kingdom was scared and they will lift in a hurry. Jeremy didn't care as he had his Rhododendron bush and his children. And they lived happily ever asked up until winter when his wife going.

The end.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Auckland,New Zealand

Friday, June 15, 2012

Three Dogs

I'm changing it up a bit today. I have a new iPad and it has speech to text. I told the iPad some stories and here's what it wrote... I even drew a picture to go along with it!

Once upon a time there were three dogs their names with Heidi Jimmy and him both. They had many adventures chasing cats up trees in chasing fish and likes. One day Heidi drank a whole lake. And the other dogs locked at her and she went to hospital. She died and became a ghost they were very sad! Whenever they saw I like again they voice remembered Heidi and was sad. Does party one multi and became a millionaire.

The end.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Auckland,New Zealand

Thursday, June 14, 2012


Today's word was a tough one. I hadn't really any idea what it meant until I looked it up just now. Mexican food! Shallow tortilla cups filled with yummy goodness. Wow, I'm really hungry now! There is this Mexican restaurant in Auckland city called "The Mexican Cafe" and has been there for 30 years. It was always a great treat for me to go there and every time I pass it now, I still get a warm comfortable feeling of somewhere wonderful. I feel that about Mexican food in general although I will freely admit I have never eaten real Mexican food; only what passes for it in non-Mexican countries. One day I hope to get to Mexico, eat wonderful food, meet wonderful people and see wonderful things. I have a soft spot for Mexico despite only having gone to Tijuana which isn't really Mexico. Of course El Salvador is better (right Panchitah?)

 I'm going to the US in less than three months. It'll be great to catch up with friends and maybe just a bit less importantly... Eat food! I have been dieting all year and I have lost a lot of weight. I might put it back on in a week...


Tuesday, June 12, 2012


Sometimes I feel like I'd like to run away. Not sure where I would go, but I long for adventure and living in a completely different way. I like security and my life now is secure and comfortable. But at times it can be bland and it feels like I have already lived my life and am now stuck in a loop to the end. I'm sure everyone feels like this and so you'll understand why I want to skedaddle!

Skedaddle is a fun word. It seems like a word that was made up and I am a huge fan of made up words. I read somewhere (and I can't be bothered checking now) that Shakespeare made up so many words that are now accepted in everyday English. I admire the power of such a person who can mould the very language I write. Without him and other giants of English literature my language, indeed our language, would be much poorer. We have a million words now! No other language comes close.

I have a headache and my vision is blurry. If I don't die, I'll blog again tomorrow!

Monday, June 11, 2012


Acrimonious, angry and bitter. Not really emotions I have much time for in my life. I don't really get angry, more sad and disappointed and hurt. I guess some people have the capacity to explode and let the world know what pissing them off and what really gets their blood boiling, but not me. Maybe I'm like a volcano and one day it will all just come out?

Anger scares me to be quite honest. Angry people seem to have little self control and when their anger spills out I like to make a run for it. I am very sensitive to the moods of people and I hate to see people angry and people sad. At least with sad I can try to help. Anger is not something I can really deal with.

I've told this story before, but years ago when I lived in Korea, I was on a bus riding somewhere and the bus stopped to pick up some passengers. There was a car blocking the bus stop, so the bus driver yelled out the door for the guy to move. Instead of apologising, the driver leaped aboard the bus brandishing a tyre iron and made to strike the bus driver. They yelled at each other and the driver kept daring the man to hit him. I couldn't stand this happening so I walked to the front of the bus (I actually walked... everything was in slow motion) and told the man to get off the bus. Much to my surprise he did and we were on our way again... The anger of those two men was truly terrifying, but I stood up to it.

Anger leads to stupid things.

Sunday, June 10, 2012


I studied Chinese at university many a moon ago. I enjoyed it in the first year, but in the second they wanted me to study classical literature and things I didn't really care about. I just wanted to do the language, so I didn't take it again.

I always wanted to go to Beijing. I'd love to see all the wonderful buildings and I'd love to see Mao in his tomb as well! I was jealous when my colleagues at work got to go to Beijing for the Olympics, while I had to stay home, but what can you do? In my case, nothing!

I was in Hong Kong and in China (for one day) shortly after the Tiananmen Square massacre. In Hong Kong there were protests going on and a lot of anger. People knew what was happening and were desperately trying to make their voices heard. The minute I crossed the border it was all about ignorance. No one knew anything, or at least claimed that they didn't. It was sad and really taught me a lot about how information is power.

The internet has really helped in a lot of ways by allowing information to spread despite the efforts of those in authority who would have it otherwise. At the same time horribly incorrect information also spreads quickly and it's important for people to double check everything they hear. I find this seldom happens.

I like duck. I think I'd like to have Peking Duck someday.

Wednesday, June 06, 2012


Pineapple is a strange word. If you split it up, it's Pine and Apple. It's neither of those things. So why would it be any different if it were stuck together? English, sort things out please! I would prefer Spikyfruit. It's what is it. Let's go with that.

When I think of spikyfruit, I think of two things. The first is dessert! Pineapple and vanilla ice cream. So so good! The second is Hawaii. I'm not sure why. I went to Hawaii once when I was 11. I'm not even sure that I ate spikyfruit then, but for some reason Hawaii = spikyfruit. My mind is an enigma of insanity.

When I was 6, I went to the Big Banana in Australia. It's not a spikyfruit, of course. There's a big spikyfruit in Australia too. That's why I brought it up. The Big Banana served banana stuff. Shakes, ice cream and other things, which I can't remember. Inside there was a lame art exhibition. That's all I remember.

Please don't ask me anymore. Thanks.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012


Nothing makes me more patriotic than marmite. That jar of black spread that is reviled around the world, but which is loved by me and many other Kiwis. Just thinking about it makes my heart flutter.

Thanks to the second Christchurch earthquake in 2011, the marmite factory in here was damaged and currently is not able to produce more. We have referred to it as Marmigeddon and as of today I no longer have marmite in my house... Matt in London sent me English marmite last year and I have even become desperate enough to put that on my toast. It is horrible... but I'm desperate!

The next level of desperation will be looking further on the supermarket shelf at the Australian version of Marmite; Vegemite... The very thought of me eating it makes me angry. But I have no choice. I need my black salty treat for breakfast and Vegemite is as close as I can get... I feel like a traitor for even thinking about it...

In other news... Nothing.


OJ is what Americans call orange juice. It alway sounds so foreign when I hear it, but nowadays it seems that many people here are starting to call it OJ too. Mayo is another word I never thought I'd hear used here. I guess that's how the language is going. I'm sure there are Americanisms that I use without even thinking about it. The domination of the US in film and tv is something, but the domination of the internet, when it comes to English at least, means it's hard to avoid the influence. This is neither a good or a bad thing; it's just a thing. 

OJ is also the name of that guy that murdered his wife and that other guy or did he? (Yes, he did) I was in the US when the trial was on and I remember all the craziness surrounding it. When I was in Hollywood, there were a lot of guys selling OJ t-shirts on the street. I regret not buying one. I would have looked good in one of those!

There's been this terrible cold which has been affecting a bunch of people in the office during the past week or so. I think I have it today... I was trying to avoid it, but no. That's both annoying and also annoying. Double annoying!

Sunday, June 03, 2012


An unattractive or superfluous addition or feature, apparently!

I think that about most of my features usually. I've never felt anything to make me think otherwise. Some people, as they say, have it and some do not. Nothing I can do about it, just live with what I've got.

I've lived in a country where plastic surgery was all the rage. That country is Korea and there it's seen as normal to want to change your eyes into a more "attractive" western style eye. Nose jobs are common and every girl and many guys want this surgery. It seems so sad to me to want to change the way you look in such an artificial way. While I am not happy with how I look, I would never seek to change my face in anyway with the help of a scalpel. It seems a horrible desperate way to deal with things.

Have you ever wondered about how many toes you could without and still live a normal walking life? I often wonder. The little toe especially seems to be extra pointless. It's kind of cute though, so I won't be chopping it off right away.

Saturday, June 02, 2012


I know the word "soliloquy" but I didn't really think about its meaning. Essentially it's a inner monologue talked out loud so that others can hear. Sounds like an inconvenience in real life, but obviously serves and important purpose in drama.

Recently I tried being soliloquous. I'm not sure that's a word, but it'll do for now. I talked about my inner thoughts and feelings and left nothing out. It can be tough leaving yourself open like that and it's even tougher when your words precede your thoughts; in other words speaking without thinking it through. I feel that if someone is important enough you shouldn't need to hide how you feel or what you are thinking, but at the same time expressing this correctly is very important. I have not yet learned how to do this. It would be fair to say that one should soliloquy with caution.

For the longest time I didn't get Shakespeare. Then one day I was helping some ESL students (English as a Second Language) with their homework and had to explain Shakespeare. We went through the play line by line. I don't remember the play, but I began to appreciate the words and Shakespeares ability to mould his writing into such vivid colour. Of course, it's still a funny way to speak! But the fact that the English language became so much more interesting thanks to him is enough reason for me to crush on him just a little bit. PLUS he got to get with Gwyneth Paltrow!

Friday, June 01, 2012


I find these days that thinking really taxes my brain. I always wish I'd been one of those empty headed handsome dudes. Things are easy when the most important thing on your mind is the state of your tan and how many hot chicks you are scoring with. People stuck with only their brains for company have it rough in comparison.

I ate lambs brains at the French restaurant across the road a few years ago. I was excited to try a new thing and it was done in a mustard sauce. I LOVE mustard. Sadly, the brains were gross. They tasted like.. well... brains. They'll not sucker me in again with their promises of luscious mustard sauce.

I really loved the cartoon, Pinky and the Brain. I would like to watch that again.

Oh yes, it's the first day of Winter! Brrrrrrr!