San Nakji has been investigating for all you hungry people who were loving the giant burger... Anyone out there living in Pennsylvania? Cos if you are, make your way to Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, fork out $23.95 (that's $33.86 in New Zealand money!)and you can munch on a 6 pound burger... The menu is quite impressive. My question is how many regular customers do you think Denny's has? I guess the average lifespan of someone who eats there on a regular basis would be 6 months top?
San Nakji for President!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
I Don't Get It
What's all this talk about an increase in obesity in the West?
I mean, we just eat normal food like everyone else...
San Nakji for President!
I mean, we just eat normal food like everyone else...
San Nakji for President!
Disco Sucks, F*ck Everything
Has anyone ever noticed those green box things that control traffic lights? Well, they are green here, I don't know about other places. Someone here in town (that's what we call our central city) noticed them and proceeded to paste really lame poetry on them. Freedom of expression and all that I guess. Beneath one of the poems was written "Disco Sucks, F*ck Everything". How profound is that? The weird thing is, the poem had nothing to do with disco and clearly did not involve everything.
San Nakji's Pooch, who has been kicked out of our house for excessive scratching, and I went for a walk last night. Walking through our local park, I saw an awesome sight. Three swallows (maybe they were... maybe they were just funny looking sparrows) were sitting on three reeds in the middle of a little pond. I reached for my super zoom camera, remembering that I actually didn't have one. So the Time picture of the year will have to wait.
I was thinking that it would be great to have a camera attached to your eye. Nicely tucked away in the skull, it would enable you to take a photo of anything you looked at. Like the Bionic Man you could also have a zoom function, or was that the Bionic Woman? My only worry about this would be that you would want to be sure that the camera was replaceable. There would be nothing worse than getting stuck with a 4 megapixel camera in your head when everyone else is on the 100 megapixel 3D cameras... Just a thought.
San Nakji for President!
San Nakji's Pooch, who has been kicked out of our house for excessive scratching, and I went for a walk last night. Walking through our local park, I saw an awesome sight. Three swallows (maybe they were... maybe they were just funny looking sparrows) were sitting on three reeds in the middle of a little pond. I reached for my super zoom camera, remembering that I actually didn't have one. So the Time picture of the year will have to wait.
I was thinking that it would be great to have a camera attached to your eye. Nicely tucked away in the skull, it would enable you to take a photo of anything you looked at. Like the Bionic Man you could also have a zoom function, or was that the Bionic Woman? My only worry about this would be that you would want to be sure that the camera was replaceable. There would be nothing worse than getting stuck with a 4 megapixel camera in your head when everyone else is on the 100 megapixel 3D cameras... Just a thought.
San Nakji for President!
The Stella Awards
It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella Awards."
The Stella's are named after 81-year old Stella Liebeck... who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired
the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United
States. Here are this year's winners.
5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of
her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store we! re understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was
Ms Robertson's son.
5th Place (tie):
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's
hubcaps.
5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days.
He subsisted on a case! of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog
food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him
undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses! after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a
little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence
into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.
She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place:
This year's run away winner was Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago
motorhome.On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven
onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers seat to go into the back make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the
RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago
for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do
this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company
actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case
there were any other complete morons around.
San Nakji for President!
The Stella's are named after 81-year old Stella Liebeck... who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired
the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United
States. Here are this year's winners.
5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of
her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store we! re understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was
Ms Robertson's son.
5th Place (tie):
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's
hubcaps.
5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days.
He subsisted on a case! of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog
food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him
undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses! after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a
little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence
into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.
She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place:
This year's run away winner was Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago
motorhome.On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven
onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers seat to go into the back make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the
RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago
for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do
this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company
actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case
there were any other complete morons around.
San Nakji for President!
THE Carol of all Carols
Everyone loves a good round don't they?
Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Feast of Stephen,
When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even.
Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel,
When a poor man came in sight, gathering winter fuel.
“Hither, page, and stand by me, if you know it, telling,
Yonder peasant, who is he? Where and what his dwelling?”
“Sire, he lives a good league hence, underneath the mountain,
Right against the forest fence, by Saint Agnes’ fountain.”
“Bring me food and bring me wine, bring me pine logs hither,
You and I will see him dine, when we bear them thither.”
Page and monarch, forth they went, forth they went together,
Through the cold wind’s wild lament and the bitter weather.
“Sire, the night is darker now, and the wind blows stronger,
Fails my heart, I know not how; I can go no longer.”
“Mark my footsteps, my good page, tread now in them boldly,
You shall find the winter’s rage freeze your blood less coldly.”
In his master’s steps he trod, where the snow lay dinted;
Heat was in the very sod which the saint had printed.
Therefore, Christian men, be sure, wealth or rank possessing,
You who now will bless the poor shall yourselves find blessing.
San Nakji for President!
Monday, December 12, 2005
A While Between Drinks
I, San Nakji, couldn't help myself. I had just become too sick of PCs and all the problems they have been giving me recently. The new addition to our family is a shiny new Mac Mini. Yup, I have stepped back into the world of Apple. I have been to the world of Apple before. As a kid I went to computer camps and learned BASIC on an Apple IIe. 
It really was the only game in town. And the great games... wow, I still dream about them. Our family was hooked. It took a while for us to get our own computer, but when we got our first Mac, it was the Mac Classic...
It was great. I still have it sitting in my office along side my virus ridden PC and our new baby, the Mac Mini. Now I know some of you will say that it just isn't that powerful, blah blah blah. But when it comes down to it, I use my computers for three things. First and most important, surfing the World Wide Web. Second, storing music and third, storing photos. My new child does all these things and takes up very little space in the process. What could be better?
It suits me anyway, which has to be the main thing!
Why am I wanking on about this? Well, I don't have anything else to write at the moment and that has to be a big thing. Also, I have noticed that blogging via Safari, the Internet Explorer of the Mac World (nope I hadn't heard of it either!), all my font options and other fun things are not available. This means my posts look different from ones done from PCs. I must learn HTML one day I guess.
One thing that scares me about Mac is the zealots who worship it so. I definitely do not want to be one of them... Help!
San Nakji for President!
It really was the only game in town. And the great games... wow, I still dream about them. Our family was hooked. It took a while for us to get our own computer, but when we got our first Mac, it was the Mac Classic...
It was great. I still have it sitting in my office along side my virus ridden PC and our new baby, the Mac Mini. Now I know some of you will say that it just isn't that powerful, blah blah blah. But when it comes down to it, I use my computers for three things. First and most important, surfing the World Wide Web. Second, storing music and third, storing photos. My new child does all these things and takes up very little space in the process. What could be better?
It suits me anyway, which has to be the main thing!
Why am I wanking on about this? Well, I don't have anything else to write at the moment and that has to be a big thing. Also, I have noticed that blogging via Safari, the Internet Explorer of the Mac World (nope I hadn't heard of it either!), all my font options and other fun things are not available. This means my posts look different from ones done from PCs. I must learn HTML one day I guess.
One thing that scares me about Mac is the zealots who worship it so. I definitely do not want to be one of them... Help!
San Nakji for President!
Sparrow Dies, Record Set
A sparrow which was shot dead for knocking over 23,000 dominoes in the Netherlands is to go on display at Rotterdam's Natural History Museum.
The bird almost spoiled a televised world record attempt before it was killed with an air rifle.
The shooting caused a public outcry. Animal rights groups condemned the bird's killing last month and a website was erected in its honour.
On Friday, the bird's killer was fined for shooting a protected species.
Prosecutors said the exterminator who killed it should have known better and fined him 170 euros ($200).
The organisers argued the killing was justified, as more than 100 people had worked for a month setting up the dominoes, but they held a TV memorial for the bird.
They went on to topple about four million dominoes, claiming a new record - which still has to be verified by Guinness World Records.
The bird was kept in a government freezer after its killing became a criminal matter.
It will be placed on top of a box of dominoes in an exhibition on sparrows next year.
Official Condolence Website (In Dutch)
San Nakji for President!Sunday, December 11, 2005
You Have to Have an Invite!
HAVANA - American activists reached the halfway point in a long trek toward the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay to protest treatment of terror suspects, but it appeared unlikely the communist government would let them enter a Cuban military zone to reach the U.S. outpost.
The 25 marchers, who set out Wednesday, hope to arrive at — or at least near to — the naval base by Saturday, which is International Human Rights Day. The march was organized by the Catholic Worker movement, an anti-war and social justice alliance.
If denied entry to the base, they have said they will fast and pray for the abolition of torture by all nations.
Cuban officials, speaking on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak to the press, said it was unlikely that the island‘s Revolutionary Armed Forces would allow marchers to traverse the miles-wide military zone that has surrounded the American base since shortly after the 1959 triumph of the Cuban revolution.
Permission to enter the area is rarely granted to civilians — especially foreigners — and even then only after months of deliberations.
San Nakji for President!
The 25 marchers, who set out Wednesday, hope to arrive at — or at least near to — the naval base by Saturday, which is International Human Rights Day. The march was organized by the Catholic Worker movement, an anti-war and social justice alliance.
If denied entry to the base, they have said they will fast and pray for the abolition of torture by all nations.
Cuban officials, speaking on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak to the press, said it was unlikely that the island‘s Revolutionary Armed Forces would allow marchers to traverse the miles-wide military zone that has surrounded the American base since shortly after the 1959 triumph of the Cuban revolution.
Permission to enter the area is rarely granted to civilians — especially foreigners — and even then only after months of deliberations.
San Nakji for President!
*Sigh*
As the song goes, "Another One Bites the Dust". Richard Pryor dead at 65. I am sure I have said this before, but this is a bad year for the comedians I love. I loved Richard most when he teamed up with Gene Wilder, they were quite a team. I was also a big fan of the movie, The Toy. Of course his stand-up was always great if you could handle the "colourful" language!
I will miss you Richard...
San Nakji for President!
Friday, December 09, 2005
It Was 25 Years Ago Today
Well, yesterday really as it happened over there in Yankland. John Lennon was shot on December 8 1980 outside his home in New York. I was just watching NBC News and there was a poignant moment as they showed the breaking news story as it happened. I can think of many other people I would prefer to have taken that bullet...
San Nakji for President!
Weekly Animal Pic - Rhesus Monkey
Not the most exciting animal this week. However one interesting thing I found out today about the Rhesus Monkey is that, Albert, the Rhesus Monkey, was the first animal in space (not counting the fruit flies...). Unfortuantely for Albert, he suffocated in flight... Still he struck a blow for his species, I guess...
San Nakji for President!
Australia Tremble!
The Australian government is pushing ahead with harsh new employment laws. San Nakji, always on the ball, has managed to get a copy of thie legislation (covertly of course) and I can reveal it to the world...
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Death Clause
Any worker found dead at their desk will be promptly fired. All deaths will need to be applied for in advance and will only be approved if your can show that your death will not affect productivity.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustration's, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
San Nakji for President!
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Death Clause
Any worker found dead at their desk will be promptly fired. All deaths will need to be applied for in advance and will only be approved if your can show that your death will not affect productivity.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustration's, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
San Nakji for President!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Podcast
I don't have a lot to say this post, although that may actually represent a majority of my posts.... I have listening to a lot of podcasts recently. Are other bloggers out there listening to them? I started manly because my favourite local radio station was "reformatted" and the music I wanted to listen to was no longer available. Podcasts are great as they offer a wide range of stations for me to listen to, on demand and free. My iPod is filled with an ecclectic mix of things like Ricky Gervais (my favourite comedian), the ABC Australia Science Show, Democracy Now and various BBC stuff. Mix the spoken stuff with some of my favourite music and I never need local radio again. The world is my radio station.... or something like that.
San Nakji for President!
San Nakji for President!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
The Invasion of the New Zealand Movie
The New Zealand blockbuster season begins! (With a little help from American money) First off the rack is King Kong followed closely by The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. It is make or break time for the movie industry in Aotearoa, so make sure you get out and support our poor little country...
San Nakji for President!
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Ah, Summer
Summer's here, so in the spirit of nice weather, here is an amazing beach photo. My colleague here at SN Inc went there in the weekend. The best thing about New Chum's Beach (stupid name I know) is that there is no road to it. You have to walk over rocks and through bush to get there. The reward? A beautiful beach, named top ten in the world by some tourist magazine published somewhere, with not a person to be seen. Yay for Summer!
San Nakji for President!
Torture
So 'Condi' is flying to Europe this week where she can expect some severe questioning regarding the flying of 'terror' suspects beyond US borders. What concerns European nations most is the possible use of torture. Rather than denying torture, Condi and her fundi friends claim to be following their legal obligation under the 1984 UN 'Convention against Torture and other Cruel, Inhuman and Degrading Treatment and Punishment'. Under this convention torture is defined as the following, "Torture means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind..."
Now, going with this definition, here are the 'interrogation' techniques employed by the freedom loving CIA...
1. Grab: the interrogator grabs a suspect's shirt front and shakes him.
2. Slap: an open-handed slap to produce fear and some pain.
3. Belly Slap: a hard slap to the stomach with an open hand. This is designed to be painful but not to cause injury. A punch is said to have been ruled out by doctors.
4. Standing: Prisoners stand for 40 hours and more, shackled to the floor. Said to be effective, it also denies them sleep and is part of a process known as sensory deprivation
5. Cold Cell: a prisoner is made to stand naked in a cold, though not freezing, cell and doused with water.
6. Water Boarding: the prisoner is bound to a board with feet raised, and cellophane wrapped round his head. Water is poured onto his face and is said to produce a fear of drowning which leads to a rapid demand for the suffering to end.
Now, I may not be in the security forces but some of these sound like torture to me. Given that Condi has such a view on what torture isn't, I fear what is happening in these 'other' countries that prisoners are being sent to...
San Nakji for President!
Now, going with this definition, here are the 'interrogation' techniques employed by the freedom loving CIA...
1. Grab: the interrogator grabs a suspect's shirt front and shakes him.
2. Slap: an open-handed slap to produce fear and some pain.
3. Belly Slap: a hard slap to the stomach with an open hand. This is designed to be painful but not to cause injury. A punch is said to have been ruled out by doctors.
4. Standing: Prisoners stand for 40 hours and more, shackled to the floor. Said to be effective, it also denies them sleep and is part of a process known as sensory deprivation
5. Cold Cell: a prisoner is made to stand naked in a cold, though not freezing, cell and doused with water.
6. Water Boarding: the prisoner is bound to a board with feet raised, and cellophane wrapped round his head. Water is poured onto his face and is said to produce a fear of drowning which leads to a rapid demand for the suffering to end.
Now, I may not be in the security forces but some of these sound like torture to me. Given that Condi has such a view on what torture isn't, I fear what is happening in these 'other' countries that prisoners are being sent to...
San Nakji for President!
Friday, December 02, 2005
They're Going to Get Us!
Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.
Passers-by were reportedly too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.
They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.
A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.
The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.
A "big" stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.
"They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.
"When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them."
Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.
While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds' nests, he said, the idea of them chewing at a dog to death was "absurd".
"If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests," he added.
Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.
A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been "no pine cones at all" in the local forests this year.
"The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat," he said.
The tattooed squirrel seen in the picture is particularly scary....
San Nakji for President!
Weekly Animal Pic - Feather Tail Glider
Smaller than the Sugar Tail of last week, these guys are about the size of a mouse. A mouse that can fly! I once spent a long time watching a Feather Tail Glider in Sydney zoo. They are fascinating creatures. (Did I say too much?)
San Nakji for President!
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