Let's not bother

Seems like once a month I come here and promise that I will blog more and then I don't. I don't think I'll bother with the ruse any more! I like blogging and want to do it more, I just don't. I'm lazy and racked with guilt. I would like to post an end of year blog about 2011. Hopefully I can do that!

Quick One

Last night I started writing my novel. I wrote more words than I ever thought I could. It was so nice to abe able to write again. As you can see from my blog, things aren't going so well in the writing field for me at the moment, so this is a good chance. I didn't quite make the quota of 1600 words, but maybe tomorrow I can make up for it?

Things are warming up in New Zealand. This Winter feels like it has been particularly long. I'm sure we think that every year, but I'm glad warmth is coming back.

Empty Promise

When I was a kid I loved to write. I wrote stories all day. I can't remember most of what I wrote but it gave me such pleasure.  I think for a while when I started this blog back in 2005 it gave me pleasure too.

Now, I seem to have lost the love of writing. I'm not sure what happened or why. I don't claim to be good at writing, but that's not the point. To do something that you makes you feel good is important. That's what writing used to do for me.

I want to regain this. I'm going to blog more, whether it's about nothing; or whether it's about everything. I just need to blog. I'm also going to try Nanowrimo in two days.

I wish me luck.

A Big Thing

Fireworks, originally uploaded by Mr San.


I often blog in my head. I guess that doesn't help with my planned blogging output. However at the insistence of my friend Panchitah I will blog right now.


Things are going along well in life. The Rugby World Cup is in full swing and even though I'm not a fan of rugby untion, but I love seeing all the people from different countries here, all the national colours, the passion. It's great fun.


In my own sport of Rugby League, my team, the Warriors, have made it to the Grand Final this weekend. I was so tempted to fly to Sydney to see them, but with tickets to Sydney costing $1000 for just the airfare, I couldn't justify it. I have been feeling terrible ever since making that decision. I have been to 15 out of the 17 seasons so I guess that makes me a fan?


What else... I'm enjoying my French classes. I love the language and one day I hope I will be able to speak it properly. I'm also very tempted to start learning Hebrew. 


That'll do, right?

In The Fall from Steve Cutts on Vimeo.

4 Lakes in 1 Day

4 Lakes in 1 Day, originally uploaded by Mr San.


I haven't blogged for a month! What have I been doing? 


Well, it's been a month full of stress and worries and all those good things which conspire to cause a writer's block. I have tried to make a promise with myself that I need to be more detached from things and try not to get so caught up. I tend to be a very sensitive person and therein lies the problem. Let's see if I can try to be "colder" from now on!


How have you been?

Malaise

Random shots for the week, originally uploaded by Mr San.

Malaise is a good word. Thank you French!

These days I'm in a malaise. Something's not right. I can't quite put my finger on it. Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down. I feel like there are things I need to do, but I just don't know what they are. Has my mid-life crisis come already? Is it time to buy a ferrari and have an affair with an 18 year old? I'm not sure I'm ready for that commitment. 

Maybe I'll just have a beer.

New Beginnings

Malo from Samoa!, originally uploaded by Mr San.

As I write this, the thunder outside is getting louder. It's been threatening to storm for so long now and still we've seen nothing. A little bit of rain, but a lot of rumbling! 


I've been missing my blog. I think about things to write all the time, but I never write here. I think blogging is cathartic and rewarding. I don't know why I don't do it more. I have become lazy and now I rely on micro-blogging sites like twitter or facebook. These are not good for me.

I am not a writer by any stretch of the imagination. I do love to write however. Ever since I was a child I have loved to write stories and express myself. I love using language and I love communicating. Even if no one ever saw this blog, I don't think it would matter. It's a chance for me to put my thoughts down on "paper" and sort out things all messed up in my mind. All this for free. Thanks Google!

So starting from today, I'm going to blog more regularly. This is a promise to myself. Also, as suggested by my friend Cergie, I'm going to start a French blog. I'm going mad not being able to learn French. It's been so long since I did, but with my son at school, I really have no time for outside classes. Maybe this blog can help... maybe it will hinder? The blog address is frenchsan.blogspot.com. Of course I don't have a good record of even blogging in English. The French thing may prove to be too difficult for me. A little self discipline may be needed. A bit of luck too!


Thanks for reading, I appreciate you very much.

Tomorrow

For the outside people, originally uploaded by Mr San.

I know I always say this...

Starting from tomorrow I'm going to start blogging on a regular basis! I need to promise this to myself. I'm pretty sure no one but the spammers come here anymore anyway... Still, Monday, 11th July 2011... A day that will live in infamy!

Also, I'm going to start a blog in French. It's the only way I can keep practising. I haven't got a URL for it yet, but please stay tuned!

The Quarky Taste Test

The Quarky Taste Test, originally uploaded by Mr San.

They were offering free samples of this dairy snack today. A caramel shell over a type of ice cream. It was delish!

It reminded me of a snack I had in France. I miss France :'(

離別

I'm trying to take my blog out of semi-retirement. I suppose all my readers have left now. Maybe my son will read it one day?

One of the great pains in life is separation. I think about it a lot. Not being with the people you care about, is the worst possible thing. People that you meet in your life become a part of it. When you say goodbye to them, it could be the last time you ever see them. I dread this time.

As I have grown older and now have a family, the people who were important in my single life, my friends, are no longer the focus in my life. I no longer see them all the time. Some of them I may only see every few years. If I were to live another 50 years, then I may only see them 20 more times. This is mind boggling to think. I have to cherish the time I have with them. Each person has made me who I am today and I am thankful to them all.

My time at school in Korea was a happy one. I met so many people from all over the world and had a wonderful time. One by one they moved back to their respective countries and one by one I had to say goodbye to them. I will probably never see these people again. I cannot fully explain how this makes me feel. I feel lost sometimes.

The people I have been lucky enough to meet on the internet are amazing people. I have been lucky enough to meet some of them and I feel very fortunate. I am sad that I had to say goodbye to them. What saddens me even more is that as time goes on my friends will drift away from the internet and will therefore drift away from me.

This is the unfairness of life.

To hell with farewells.