Malaise

Random shots for the week, originally uploaded by Mr San.

Malaise is a good word. Thank you French!

These days I'm in a malaise. Something's not right. I can't quite put my finger on it. Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down. I feel like there are things I need to do, but I just don't know what they are. Has my mid-life crisis come already? Is it time to buy a ferrari and have an affair with an 18 year old? I'm not sure I'm ready for that commitment. 

Maybe I'll just have a beer.

New Beginnings

Malo from Samoa!, originally uploaded by Mr San.

As I write this, the thunder outside is getting louder. It's been threatening to storm for so long now and still we've seen nothing. A little bit of rain, but a lot of rumbling! 


I've been missing my blog. I think about things to write all the time, but I never write here. I think blogging is cathartic and rewarding. I don't know why I don't do it more. I have become lazy and now I rely on micro-blogging sites like twitter or facebook. These are not good for me.

I am not a writer by any stretch of the imagination. I do love to write however. Ever since I was a child I have loved to write stories and express myself. I love using language and I love communicating. Even if no one ever saw this blog, I don't think it would matter. It's a chance for me to put my thoughts down on "paper" and sort out things all messed up in my mind. All this for free. Thanks Google!

So starting from today, I'm going to blog more regularly. This is a promise to myself. Also, as suggested by my friend Cergie, I'm going to start a French blog. I'm going mad not being able to learn French. It's been so long since I did, but with my son at school, I really have no time for outside classes. Maybe this blog can help... maybe it will hinder? The blog address is frenchsan.blogspot.com. Of course I don't have a good record of even blogging in English. The French thing may prove to be too difficult for me. A little self discipline may be needed. A bit of luck too!


Thanks for reading, I appreciate you very much.

Tomorrow

For the outside people, originally uploaded by Mr San.

I know I always say this...

Starting from tomorrow I'm going to start blogging on a regular basis! I need to promise this to myself. I'm pretty sure no one but the spammers come here anymore anyway... Still, Monday, 11th July 2011... A day that will live in infamy!

Also, I'm going to start a blog in French. It's the only way I can keep practising. I haven't got a URL for it yet, but please stay tuned!

The Quarky Taste Test

The Quarky Taste Test, originally uploaded by Mr San.

They were offering free samples of this dairy snack today. A caramel shell over a type of ice cream. It was delish!

It reminded me of a snack I had in France. I miss France :'(

離別

I'm trying to take my blog out of semi-retirement. I suppose all my readers have left now. Maybe my son will read it one day?

One of the great pains in life is separation. I think about it a lot. Not being with the people you care about, is the worst possible thing. People that you meet in your life become a part of it. When you say goodbye to them, it could be the last time you ever see them. I dread this time.

As I have grown older and now have a family, the people who were important in my single life, my friends, are no longer the focus in my life. I no longer see them all the time. Some of them I may only see every few years. If I were to live another 50 years, then I may only see them 20 more times. This is mind boggling to think. I have to cherish the time I have with them. Each person has made me who I am today and I am thankful to them all.

My time at school in Korea was a happy one. I met so many people from all over the world and had a wonderful time. One by one they moved back to their respective countries and one by one I had to say goodbye to them. I will probably never see these people again. I cannot fully explain how this makes me feel. I feel lost sometimes.

The people I have been lucky enough to meet on the internet are amazing people. I have been lucky enough to meet some of them and I feel very fortunate. I am sad that I had to say goodbye to them. What saddens me even more is that as time goes on my friends will drift away from the internet and will therefore drift away from me.

This is the unfairness of life.

To hell with farewells.

Misty Tower

Misty Tower, originally uploaded by Mr San.

Testing mobile blogging. Blogging to resume shortly...

Nemo Found

Nemo Found, originally uploaded by Mr San.

Sunset

Sunset, originally uploaded by Mr San.

More Puppy Action

Sealyham Terrier, originally uploaded by Mr San.

Blogging Soon - Maybe

Puppy, originally uploaded by Mr San.

Hard at Work

Hard at Work, originally uploaded by Mr San.

I'm practising my French by translating http://cergipontin.blogspot.com. It's hard work! I read that French people are the biggest bloggers in the world. Looking around the web, I believe it!

Best Laid Plans

Well, I should never have tried it. One post a day for a month was just too much for me! I do want to restart this blog though, so here we go.

2010 is going to be an interesting year for me and my family. With my son set to start school in 2011, this is our last year to do things together as a family before school holidays conspire to drain both of his parents of their leave. As a result we are planning to travel to France. We will first head to Sydney, then Seoul, then London, then France for 18 days and then home via Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

I have been rabidly consuming everything I can about France; the geography, the history, the people, the culture and of course the language. I took French language classes for about 9 months and now I am trying to continue via a book. It's hard to learn without a teacher, at least for me. I am the biggest procrastinator in the world. I mean, just look at my blog!

Anyway, I hope to talk about the things I am learning and interesting facts I'm discovering. I have no one to talk to about this, so my dead blog will do!

A Post a Day #5

I have just been watching My Kid Could Paint That. It is a documentary about a 4 year old girl who is some kind of child prodigy and sells her paintings for thousands of dollars. Questions came up about whether the girl was actually painting the pictures on her own or whether her father was helping her or in fact painting himself. I really wanted to believe that she painted these pictures. But at the movie I mentioned to my wife that there was no proof that she had painted them and shortly after I said that, my suspicions were agreed with by the documentary.

There are a number of ideas brought up by this.

The first is "what is art?". This seems to be a unanswerable question. As the saying goes "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder". If that is the case, who is anyone to say what is art and what is not? Speaking as a literature major, when I read a book, I try to understand what the author is saying and what message they want to bring across. I imagine the same is true for visual art. The artist is portraying something with their painting or sculpture or whatever. There is a message in their art. If this is the case, then what message is a 4 year old girl trying to give us with her painting? Surely she paints purely for the pleasure. What are we to think of art like this? Is it the same as a picture painted by an elephant or a chimpanzee? They are not delivering a message, the purely putting paint to canvas. Does art need a message? Now, if we accept that a 4 year old can make art but then add that she is painting under the direction of her father, is it still art? Where is that line drawn? To me, it's a truly interesting question.

The second idea I considered as I watched this film was about the child prodigy. How would you know? To discover if your child was a prodigy, would you have to be a pushy parent? Could a child achieve their full potential without your guidance? As a father myself, I wonder this a lot. I could never be the kind of parent to push things onto my son, but sometimes I worry that I am letting whatever talent he has fade away. People often say he is great at sports. Should I pushing him more in that direction? He also seems to have some kind of art ability and maybe I should be helping this somehow? In these two regards he is very different from me. I'm not even sure how to proceed. I suppose it is all about the fine line between encouraging and pushing. I hope I will never be the pushy parent.

If you want to see some of the art, the girl's website is Marla Olmstead. She is now 9.

A Post a Day #4

I started blogging about food just now, but after one paragraph, I bored the crap out of myself. I'm sure if anyone was reading this they would have stopped sooner than I did!

Even though it's now Summer here in New Zealand, it is pouring with rain outside. I haven't heard this heavy a rain for a long time. On the plus side, it has cooled things down a lot. It has been really humid and hot this week and that's never fun. A true downside to weather in Auckland.

There is nothing better than lying in bed at night listening to the rain. I'm not sure why the sound is so soothing, but it seems that a lot of people feel the same. Last year when I was going through my rough patch, I used an application on my ipod touch to help me sleep. The application played the sounds of rain through my headphones. It was truly a relaxing way to fall asleep and helped me take my mind off things. Since my ipod fell in the toilet, I haven't been able to do this. I really miss it.

What do you do to get to sleep or take your mind off things?

A Post a Day #3

I stayed in Malaysia for a while. I was living with a friend and his family. They were kind of strange, but they were essentially good people. My friend's cousin came to stay while I was there and he was the same. I can't remember the exact details, but the cousin had a big wad of cash. I can't seem to remember why.

Well, one day he came rushing down the stairs yelling that his money was gone. Me and my friend went up stairs to see what he was talking about. Sure enough, the money wasn't where he had put it. We started searching around but we couldn't see it anywhere. My bag was sitting in the corner of the room and I thought to look in it. There was the money. I was shocked. I couldn't understand why it would be there. I took it out and handed it to the cousin. Who immediately started accusing me of having stolen the money and now feeling guilty trying to make amends. I can tell you, my faithful blog readers, that with hand on heart I never took that money. I looked to my friend for support and he told me that if I had needed money, I only had to ask him. I was shocked that even he wouldn't believe me.

It is the worst feeling in the world to not be trusted by those close to you. I could tell that no matter what I did he wasn't going to believe my side. I packed my stuff and the next day I left for Singapore. That was pretty much the end of our friendship. I suppose it shows that he wasn't a true friend at all. Or maybe it proves the old saying "blood is thicker than water"? Either way, to me, there is nothing worse than being in that situation.

Sometimes when things go missing or accidents happen at work, I get flashbacks to that time and feel like someone may accuse me of whatever it is. It is just awful. I am a very honest guy and to have people not think that about you... Damn!

A Post a Day #2

Last night as I was sitting in the lounge, my little boy came out complaining of a sore tummy. He sat on my knee and promptly vomited all over me. I could tell he had eaten rice and ham for lunch... It's at times like this that you realise what it is to be a parent. I wasn't grossed out by it and I didn't really even think about it. I called for my wife to help and we moved into overdrive cleaning the kid, the floor and me. This morning, as we headed to work. He was sick again, all over the backseat. Wow... who knew such a small child could produce so much?

I've never been overly disgusted with bodily fluids, but with my son, I don't even notice. All the things that come from this child's body... They don't affect me at all. This is what real love is, I guess?

A Post a Day #1

I told you it wasn't dead!

Starting from today, December 1 2009, I plan to blog a post a day for the whole month. This is over the holiday period, so I am pushing my luck, but I promised myself I would do it!

I have had a crazy time in the past year which has really affected my blogging. Lots of sadness, some happiness and all kinds of things. I have become lazy through facebook, twitter and plurk and I'm sure this affected blogging too.

Of course, on my first day I have nothing to blog about whatsoever. Thanks so much to Cergie for supporting my comatose blog. Hopefully I can repay your faith in me?

I have been learning French for just under a year, so maybe I'll post in French one of these days?

Thanks to Sarah and Francisca for reminding me of my blog!

Ok, that's number 1 down...

See you tomorrow!

The Blog's Not Dead

Tiger Hell, originally uploaded by San Nakji.

I AM coming back!

I Break the Law

I Break the Law, originally uploaded by San Nakji.

Cornified

Cornified, originally uploaded by San Nakji.