Thursday, December 04, 2008
From Eileen, I've taken the 6th photo from the 6th page of my Flickr account and here it is.
It's my weekly walking route from my French class to my carpark. With Summer here, it's a really nice walk in the evening.
I don't know who still reads this blog!
I would like to "meme" Breanne and Matt. I'll take volunteers too :)
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Yes, it's been a really long time.
I need to get back to blogging.
In my hiatus, I have been thinking of so many things to write. My life and has been in rollercoaster state... first it was right at the top. Things were amazing, I was so so happy. Then however, things got really really bad. Things aren't so great right now.
I am trying to sort through what has happened and what can happen.
In the meantime, maybe blogging again will help me in some way. We shall see I guess.
There's always pretty pictures to keep you coming :)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
A teacher from my son's school is leaving. She is an Indian and I have found her nothing but helpful and good to my son. The problem for her is that she has a thick Indian accent which can be difficult to understand.
I was talking to a fellow parent yesterday who was so happy that she was leaving. He complained that he couldn't understand her and he was angry that she hadn't made an effort to try to speak properly.
It took a lot of self control to stop myself from leaping on him and beating him to death with my bare hands. It was truly an ignorant statement and something that I constantly have to battle with.
I think the thing I hate most in this world is racism. It is a deep seeded instinct I feel, but as intelligent human beings it is something that can be overcome. There is no excuse for it.
It really frustrates me that people have to be so ignorant. I mean to believe, and he truly believes this, that she is purposely talking in her accent makes me so angry.
It is even more frustrating when people that I have to deal with on a daily basis or even friends have these attitudes about people who look different from themselves. I mean I could chew them out and beat them down, but I need to keep a good relationship with them. Just like this parent. Damn, it makes me so angry. Anger that could consume me inside.
Monday, March 17, 2008
I am going to see the Smashing Pumpkins on Saturday night. Although the band is now only a shadow of its' former self, I was unlucky to miss them at their prime. This is my only chance to hear the music that shaped my younger years.
Everyone has music that takes them back to a different time. I am always amazed by how songs do this to me. Whether it be 'Dont' Dream It's Over' by Crowded House which reminds me of school discos and young love or 'Cold Contagious' by Bush which reminds me of my time in Korea, songs and music have this power.
I can feel myself turning into my parents. I know that one day my son will laugh that I love Radiohead. He will crack up when I talk about 2008 and the time I saw my idols, Smashing Pumpkins. And you know what? I don't care! Music is deeply personal. And these are things that are important to me.
Friday, March 14, 2008
I am imagination.
Dream I must.
I was tagged by CERGIE to write a six word memoir. That's right; only six words and what comes to mind is perfect simplicity.
Here are the rules:
1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag more blogs with links.
My faithful blog visitors! I tag thee... Ori, Ashley, Amy, Aaron, Clint and Matt
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Feel the Fear
The Secret of the Shadow
The Breakthrough Experience
Living the 7 Habits
The Success Principle
You Can Heal Your Life
The Master Key System
As I looked through the self-help books, these were the kinds of titles I saw. It strikes me that it is all about the title. Look beyond this, I can't really see why these people are qualified to tell me how to live my life. It's true that I am wondering that at the moment, but I believe more and more this lies in self-discovery, and not the messy kind.
I laughed as I saw that Donald Trump had a book out telling us how we could be rich. A man who comes from money... I think that's the general state of these people.
The Self-Help book industy must be worth a lot of money. Maybe our society, the 'Western' one, has been trained to believe that our lives need to be fixed. This is particularly apparent in the US if you watch things like Oprah or Dr Phil. People are lining up to talk about their problems and get solutions. A lot of times I wonder if these problems are really problems. And does anyone else need to know? Is it, in fact, a badge of honour to have a self-help book and show others that you are 'improving' yourself?
All I know is that I am taking a wide berth of that section of Borders from now on...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
My last post has me thinking a lot about where I am going.
The first thing I need to explain is that when I talked about 'payoff', I don't mean money. What I mean is more 'life satisfaction'. Family, I am happy with. Self, not so. That's why I am waiting for the 'payoff'. Something that, to paraphrase Jerry Maguire "completes me". The question is "should I wait? Should I actively seek it out?"
Yesterday, I went to the local bookshop to have a look at self help books. The image in my mind about said books is one of Dr Phil McGraw doing anything he can to show that by reading his crappy book your life will be perfect. As I scanned through the hundreds of books including Dr Phil's, I knew this was an image I wouldn't be able to shake. I just couldn't bring myself to even touch these books.
I even looked at philosophy books. For Aaron, I almost bought a Wittgenstein... Almost.
I will have to carry on my search...
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I had this idea to start writing a diary.
Why does one write a diary? I guess it's to talk to your inner self. It's a chance to reflect on what you are thinking in words. It seems to me that women are better at diaries than men. Is that just a sexist observation by me or is it true? I guess, if it is true, it is because women tend to be more in touch with themselves. I think that's a really good thing. If you become detatched from what and who you are then you can lose sight of where you need to be.
I started writing my diary and it really only lasted a few days. I just didn't want to talk to myself very much. I mean, I know what I am thinking anyway... Or do I?
When I was a kid I went on a round the world trip with my mum and sister. My friend gave me a travel diary to record where I went and what I saw. I can quote the contents of the diary word for word.
"Today we arrived in Japan"
After that I must have lost interest...
So I am going to try again. This time I am going to write to someone. I will impart the wealth of my knowledge to my son. Then on the second day I will write complete garbage instead. I hope my son appreciated what I will tell him
Thursday, February 07, 2008
You act as though
You are a blind man who's crying
Crying `bout all the virgins that are dying
In your habitual dreams
You know, seems you need more sleep
But like a parrot in a flaming tree
I know, it's pretty hard to see
I'm beginning to wonder if it's time for a change
But still you try like a fat boy
Dancing Gershwin's blues
But you'd rather sit at home and watch the news
And I'm beginning to wonder if it's time for a change
I'm beginning to wonder if it's time for a change
Friday, February 01, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
What a stupid way to stop blogging again. So...
Everyday since I took my break from blogging I have been thinking about how to start again. I stated before that I wanted to take my blog back to where it started. I started with no photos and a lot of opinion. Somehow my blog slowly morphed into something else. Photos and no content. That's not where I want to be. That's not what this blog should be. I need it to be more me.
I was thinking about what I could start with. One thing that I have been dealing with a lot lately is religion. More precisely the lack of religion. I don't think it's a secret that I am an atheist. (I always spell this word wrongly!) My mother's side of the family is hard core brethren. They ostracised my grandmother when her husband left and told her that she would go to hell for some perceived wrongdoing that only they could see. Watching my grandmother racked with guilt every day of her life is not a pleasant thing. She has tried to make amends with her family, but there is always something between her and everyone else. Our family is the black sheep.
When I was a kid I decided I wanted to go to church with my first best friend. He was a baptist. The actual church thing held no interest for me. What I was really interested in was the activity books the kids got at Sunday school. They were great. You could do colouring in. Join the dots. Solve mazes. That's what I was in to. I can't remember ever thinking about why everyone was really there. I did ask a lot of questions. (nothing has changed) I asked so many difficult questions that the teacher asked my friend's parent to stop bringing me. So much for my dip in the waters of Christianity.
From an early age I was always impressed by Buddhism. Sometime in my late teens I decided that I would be Buddhist. I read a lot of books on the subject, visited temples. Did everything I thought I should do to be a Buddhist. However, I wasn't a Buddhist. I just couldn't believe in what Buddhists believe. It, like Christianity, didn't make any sense to me. What I really loved and still love today is ceremony. I love the old forms of Christianity the best for this very reason. Coptics, Orthodox and Catholic blow me away with their ceremony. That's what I love. It has nothing to do with the very heart of every religion. The belief in god, or gods.
I even thought about Islam for the briefest of times. Why? Because I thought it would be cool to go to Mecca.
So come university I had firmly decided that atheism was for me. I had no time to believe in god, because I wanted answers. I wanted to question. In my mind, you can only question religion so far before the answer is god. When that is the answer, then there is not enough proof for me.
In the past year I have received two books about atheism. One is The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins and the other is God is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens. The God Delusion was the first I read and I have to tell you I couldn't finish it. It was extremely boring. I am currently reading the second book and while it is an easier read I just am not satisfied with it. I will tell you why.
I am comfortable in what I believe, or do not believe, as the case may be. I am not sure I need to read anything to tell me how I should defend my position or attack the position of others. That's what these books do. Much as many books written by religious people would put forward the position that their particular brand of religion was the best, so are these atheists, or probably more correctly, antitheists. I am comfortable in my decision and I am happy with others, many blogging friends of mine, who have come to different religious decisions in their own lives. Why do I need to attack them? I do not. They do not attack me or put me down. All is good.
Of course if the freedom to believe whatever I want is threatened or I am discriminated against on the basis of my choice of non-belief, then I will fight. So far, I have no need to fight.
For me, living in New Zealand has many annoying points. Sometimes I throw my arms in the air and just wish I were elsewhere, anywhere. One thing however that I am proud of is the fact that religion or what you believe is not an issue. Extremist religious groups exist of course, but they have no power. Our very own prime minister is an atheist, but that does not affect how people vote. It shouldn't. Her personal belief that there is no god is neither here nor there in the running of the country. One fringe Christian group tried to make it an issue, but it came to nothing. I was happy.
So that's where I am. My writing style is one of a flow of ideas with very little checking to see if it makes sense. I hope this does. I have thought a lot about this topic. I have been influenced by the people who comment on my blog. Many of them are Christian. I do not want to offend, but at the same time I want to be honest. I read their blogs and religion is an integral part of their lives. I admire this. I am not envious of it, I appreciate the differences. I hope you do too.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Thank you everyone for your support at this time of my blogging, or lack there of. I hope to get back into it soon. Just trying to figure what to write about. I need to visit all my supporters' blogs too! Thanks, Ori, Cergie, Amy, Friar, Buck, Ashley and everyone. You guys are great!
In the meantime, here is a video I just made with my new toy...
Aroha to all
San Nakji for President!
Monday, January 07, 2008
So I have this new programme called Journler. It is basically a journal for the Mac. I have been writing thoughts in it and I plan to transfer those writings to my blog. I will experiment with this for a while and we shall see.
Thanks for your continued support!
San Nakji for President!
Friday, January 04, 2008
Happy New Year to you all.
I have been thinking a bit about my blog and where it is going and I have come to the conclusion that I don't like what it has become. Therefore... I am going to make it multi layered. Photos for those who like photos and then I am actually going to blog with substance. Shocking I know, but I used to do that!
San Nakji for President!