Wednesday, March 12, 2008


DSC05078, originally uploaded by San Nakji.

My last post has me thinking a lot about where I am going.

The first thing I need to explain is that when I talked about 'payoff', I don't mean money. What I mean is more 'life satisfaction'. Family, I am happy with. Self, not so. That's why I am waiting for the 'payoff'. Something that, to paraphrase Jerry Maguire "completes me". The question is "should I wait? Should I actively seek it out?"

Yesterday, I went to the local bookshop to have a look at self help books. The image in my mind about said books is one of Dr Phil McGraw doing anything he can to show that by reading his crappy book your life will be perfect. As I scanned through the hundreds of books including Dr Phil's, I knew this was an image I wouldn't be able to shake. I just couldn't bring myself to even touch these books.

I even looked at philosophy books. For Aaron, I almost bought a Wittgenstein... Almost.

I will have to carry on my search...


aaronrussin said...

sorry san, i didn't mean 'pay off' as in money either.

i mean that the effort you put in to your relationships and your social structures ought not to be made with 'cost-benefit' in mind. i don't think that we operate with the people we love on a 'contract' basis, and if we are, then perhaps these are shitty relationships.

is there anything that your son could do that would 'break the contract' of being your son? and if he did any of those things, wouldn't you in some ways understand and feel compelled to help or 'fix' him? what about this relationship is different than others?

like, for example, your 'hero' post. i don't think you do those things for a pay-off, you do them because you're upholding some very interesting moral commitments, not because you want to get something out of it. you do it because people SHOULD do it.

i think you're building on a kind of holism yourself sir, and you should keep it up, because you're making headway.

and don't buy wittgenstein books unless you get specific translations, otherwise you're in for a world of hurt :P BUT if it's a choice between self-help and wittgenstein, buy the god damn wittgenstein.

Cergie said...

San Nakji, you must admit that life is never perfect and you have just to do your best
Never mind, you are still too young to accept that idea.

If you want to read an author at the same time thinking a lot and very funny, try David Loge. I like him very much.
He wrote a book "therapy" where the hero is so interested with Kierkegaard.

Cergie said...

I've something else to tell you : I tagged you, not such as I made in the past with an annoying tag. It's rather funny and I'm sure you'll enjoy and do well.

Cheers, my friend


Cergie said...

David LoDge

Matt Morelli said...

Hope you find what you're looking for mate. I gave up trying to justify, trying to identify, trying to interpret everything ages ago. Now, I just allow myself to be swept away in life's flow. I found the human mind too difficult to understand, so I just shrugged my shoulders and admitted defeat. I'm much happier in my ignorance.